How A Death Cafe Is Redefining Conversations About Loss

When you first hear someone say, "Hey...Would you like to go with me to The Death Cafe? You'd probably say, "Go to the what?!"

A Death Cafe, although it sounds like a dark and scary place, is actually quite the opposite.

NORMALIZING THE TABOO DISCUSSION

How many of us grew up never speaking about death until ultimately someone we were close to passed away? When we found out, we were scared, devastated, and shocked.

Although there is probably nothing that can stop the sting and pain that is caused when someone we love dies, a Death Cafe is a place where people can go to talk about it. It is usually led by someone, so they can start the conversation. Nikie Wolgamott and Steve Hoemberg talked to me about the Death Cafe's happening in St. Cloud.

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A PLACE TO ASK QUESTIONS AROUND THE TOPIC OF DEATH

And it's not just about talking about our feelings about someone close to us passing away. A Death Cafe is a place you can go to ask questions about anything related to death.

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WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

One topic that comes up is the many different options for burial these days. You can now be composted! Did you know that? Many people have chosen cremation in recent years over a traditional burial. Others are cremated and have their remains turned into jewelry or art. Some people want to be buried without a coffin. At The Death Cafe, there really isn't anything that is off topic.

THE PURPOSE OF A DEATH CAFE

Typically, a Death Cafe is a place where people can gather, often with strangers, to have snacks and beverages and discuss aspects of death.

The whole purpose is normalize death; after all, it is a part of life. Whether we live to the ripe old age of 100 or die suddenly, it is a part of life. Normalizing death can help people deal with their loss, rather than dramatizing it; which can make it overwhelming for much longer than it needs to be.

PLACES TO DISCUSS DEATH IN CENTRAL MINNESOTA

Bri's Lodge in St. Cloud is a place where you can gather and meet someone similar to your own experience, to discuss your feelings and how to move forward. Similarly, there are Death Cafes happening in St. Cloud, and everyone is welcome to attend.

The B-Side Indie Music Cafe on 7th Avenue North in downtown St. Cloud held their first Death Cafe on January 15th, and will probably be taking place on Sundays moving forward. Nikki Wolgamott commented on the meeting, "Our first cafe went stellar! We had 10 VERY different people turn out, and the conversation was deep, yet lighthearted and warm. I believe everyone walked away quite glad they came."

Steve Hoover says Death Cafes are happening at The Whitney Senior Center on the first Tuesday of the month, from 1 to 2:30.