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A Private Letter to Those of Us Who Miss Dad at Christmas

The other day I woke up, opened my Facebook app, and saw that picture up there. A university in Sault Ste Marie, MI was doing a promotion for an event, and the post was seen by a ton of my friends. And they shared it with me. And I’m glad they did.

Waking up to a picture of your dad all over your Facebook timeline might be an everyday thing for a lot of people, but not me. My dad passed away in the early 1990s and at least once a week I think of a question I wish I could ask. But I can’t. I just have to satisfy myself with trying to remember to ask him in dreams (he shows up pretty regularly).

Seeing the picture and the story brings back so many good memories. A whole lot of silliness, and, of course, some tears. But they’re good tears. And I’m blessed to have them. Not everyone that’s lost their father is so fortunate. If that’s you, this is for you…

Dear you –

If it is your first Christmas without your dad, it is OK to feel however you feel. There’s no rule. If you miss him, miss him. If you’re mad at him, be mad at him. If you love him, love him.

No one can take his place, and maybe the old traditions won’t be the same, but that’s OK. It happened to him, too, and new traditions were born from it. You will do the same when the time comes. And it’ll come. At your own pace.

If you need a little break from everything, be honest about it with your family or friends and take a little time. Even just 20 minutes of sitting calmly, breathing, and thinking about dad can help a great deal.

Good luck…you’ll get there.

James

By the way, if things get to be too much, and you need to talk to someone, text 747-747, OK?

Merry Christmas, I hope the love and the blessings of the season reach all of you. And if you’re fortunate enough to have a little extra money or time, please donate one or both to the Salvation Army. Just click here

Listen to James Rabe 6a to 10a on Y-105 FM

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